By Renée Haas, MFT, CPC

A marriage or other significant relationship requires tending if it's going to continue to bloom. But maintaining a healthy connection with your partner can be challenging in today's busy world. Here are a few tips and conversation starters to help keep your relationship alive, pleasurable and enriching.

• Create a relationship "wish list." Each partner writes down 10-15 things they consider to be part of an ideal relationship. Then the partners review each other’s lists and develop one list that includes the major things they will strive to achieve together.

• Especially if you have children, be sure to schedule at least one adults-only "date night" per week. Switch off who gets to pick where to go and what to do. Use your imagination. Surprise each other. Have fun.

• Choose platinum over gold. The Golden Rule asks that you treat others as you would like to be treated. The Platinum Rule encourages you to treat others (including your partner) as they would like to be treated.

• If a disagreement is getting too heated, one of the partners can call a time out. That person then takes responsibility for re-raising the issue sometime within the next 24 hours, when the partners have calmed down and can communicate more productively.

• Have a quiz night. Ask your partner 5-10 questions about yourself, such as "Who do I consider to be my best friend and why?" or "What was my favorite vacation we’ve taken together?" Even in long-term relationships, there's always plenty you can learn about each other.

• Share with your partner what lessons about relationships you learned from your family-of-origin. Explore which lessons have been helpful and harmful. Tell your partner several relationship skills you learned from him or her.